Tips for supporting parents of autistic adults
As children grow into adulthood, the role of a parent naturally shifts. And, for parents of autistic adults, this transition often brings a unique set of challenges – from navigating the drop in support after exiting the school system to reimagining what independence looks like for their family. In the search for the absolute best next step for their child, those caring for autistic adults are all too often left without the support they need.
The National Foundation for Autism Research (NFAR) is here to offer both neurodivergent individuals and their loved ones the support they deserve and the resources they need to thrive. So, whether you are a parent yourself or a friend looking to help, here are essential tips for supporting the parents of autistic adults, and how to find strength in community during this exciting new chapter of life.
Build a Circle of Connection
As autistic adults leave the vast community of school, and eventually leave the nest, parents are often faced with isolation. After so much time in close proximity to their child and the educational community around them, moving forward with independence is a brand new hurdle. When these existing social circles fade, it’s essential to find a new circle that understands the nuances of adult neurodiversity.
Join NFAR Connect: At NFAR, we’re here to help the parents of autistic adults in our community find their tribe! That’s why we started our monthly parent group, NFAR Connect, which meets virtually on the third Wednesday of every month. This group is a safe, welcoming space to share resources, hear from guest speakers, make new friends, and, most importantly, know you’re not alone.
Listen without fixing: If you are a friend supporting a parent, sometimes the best gift you can give is an empathetic ear. They don’t always need a solution; they need to know their experiences are seen and valued. Just being there, hearing them, and offering a helping hand with anything they need can make a real difference.
Navigate Services Together
The shift from the school system to adult services, like local, government support or college programs, can be overwhelming to navigate. Luckily, there’s no need to do it alone. Parents can work with their new circle of connections to navigate autism support services together. We recommend:
- Starting early: As a friend, you can help parents by encouraging them to look into transition planning years before it’s needed to avoid the stress of the sudden drop-off in services after school years.
- Resource sharing: Offer to help them research local options, and, if you’re located in Southern California, recommend working with local foundations like NFAR to get them a source of endless support, in one helpful place!
Focus on Small (and Big) Wins in Independence
Transitions to adulthood often come with ups and downs, rather than steady progress. It’s all about finding your way as a family, one step at a time. Supporting the parent of an autistic adult often means helping them celebrate both the small, incremental progress their family is making and the big wins too! We recommend:
Encouraging vocational growth: Help parents set their loved one up for success through dedicated resources and programs tailored to assist autistic adults in entering the workforce. For those located in Southern California, we offer three incredible vocational programs that provide hands-on training for the workplace.
- NFAR Tech: An 8-month program focused on Software Quality Assurance (QA). Explore NFAR Tech
- NFAR IT/Cyber: A 9-month program preparing participants for IT and cybersecurity roles with CompTIA standards. Explore NFAR IT/Cyber
- NFAR Works: A year-long program focusing on foundational job readiness for technical, administrative, or manufacturing roles. Explore NFAR Works
Seeing their adult child gain confidence in a job setting is a massive emotional boost for the entire family.
Supporting social agency: Parents often feel the most relief seeing their autistic loved one find a community of peers. Not only does it alleviate pressure on parents to be a primary social outlet, but it also allows them the joy of seeing their child connect with a likeminded, supportive, and understanding community where they can truly be themselves. To support social agency, encourage the autistic adult in your life to participate in social workshops like NFAR Social.
- NFAR Social: This 8-week workshop series offers 3 different workshop options to choose from (improv, game night, and creative arts), allowing participants to build their social skills and engage in self expression. Explore NFAR Social
Shedding light on the impact of NFAR programs: We are so proud to have helped improve the lives of autistic individuals in our community, and their families, through the results of our programs.
The mother of one of our graduates said it best: “About 2 weeks ago, my daughter moved into her own adorable apartment….she has also started to socialize, travel, and date. Best of all, she has earned and feels competent, capable, and contributing—because she is….She is happy, proud, excited, and passionate about life. Please never doubt, as I am 100% certain, that we owe all this to you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Make sure that the parents of autistic adults in your life know that there are local autism support services and resources out there, like NFAR, waiting to make a real difference in their lives.
Prioritize Sustainable Self-Care
While for many parents, self-care can feel out of reach, or like it’s just another item on a to-do list, it’s essential for long-term support and advocacy. The truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So, help the parents in your life by encouraging them to step back when necessary to support their own wellbeing. Sometimes, a small, innocent act of selfishness can prove to be selfless in the long run. We recommend:
- Offer them a breather: If you’re a friend, offer to help with a daily task such as grocery shopping, running errands, or laundry. A little help can go a long way in ensuring parents have a little time to themselves, a little bit of fun, or a quiet moment of relaxation.
- Encourage boundary setting: It’s okay for parents to have interests, hobbies, and a life outside of their caregiving role. Remind them that their identity is more than just being an advocate or a parent. Insist that their own pursuit of creative, social, and other interests is crucial to model independence and what a full life looks like for their adult child.
Find Strength in the Race for Autism!
Sometimes, the best way to feel supported is to see a thousand people standing behind you. That’s one of the many reasons we believe every loved one of autistic individuals should join the Race for Autism! Every year, the San Diego community gathers at Balboa Park for the Race for Autism Superhero 5K, an event dedicated to uplifting autistic individuals and their access to local autism support services.
Why it matters: For parents, this event isn’t just about the miles; it’s about visibility. It’s a day to celebrate their children, connect with other families, and raise funds that go directly back into the local programs they rely on. Explore the Race for Autism
Paving a Path Forward, with NFAR
The journey of parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint. By leaning on community resources, and prioritizing connection, we can ensure that no parent has to walk this path alone.
Ready to connect? Visit NFAR.org to learn more about our resources for autistic adults in San Diego and how you can get involved. Or contact us to discover how we can best support the autistic adult in your life, and their family too!
